A Monster [Cookie] Destroyed My Kitchen!

- or, part of it, anyway.

Now don't look at me with those "oh my God you still have Halloween candy sitting around your house" eyes. No, no, this would be a prime example of be making a valiant attempt to catch up on writing about the baking I did in between work sessions, when sitting at the computer was so not what was on the priority list! These gigantic (think full-hand size, including fingers), thick and chewy discs of deliciousness were baked shortly after it became painfully clear that there really were no more kids coming around for Halloween this year! Of course, that means that it was about the second week of November - God only knows why my stepfather thought he could pawn off half-full boxes of chocolate and chips at the office - before I could act on my recipe-planning whim. It wasn't really a bad thing, though, since it did force me to plug in some more hours on schoolwork, but finally I needed the break!

I tore into the abandoned box and came up with a bucket of the good, fun-sized swag: four bags of plain Ruffles, 8 Aero bars and ten tiny boxes of Smarties! Of course unwrapping them left a pile of garbage big enough to alert GreenPeace representatives all over the province, but they were already made, packaged, shipped and sold... I don't think there was any chance of really reducing a carbon footprint. Plus, there were cookies to think of. The whole assortment in the white bowl, with slightly crushed, salty chips on the bottom and super colourful chocolates on top, looked so pretty I had to take a photo! Then I hauled out the flours, flax and sugar and got down to business.

I guess you could say I did turn into the monster that destroyed my kitchen. To me, the only way I can reliably blow off steam is to whip up a batch of whatever suits my fancy! Some days it's bread, others it's muffins or cookies, and I don't usually seem to make the same thing twice. I guess I should label it something like "creative-overload ADD", but then I'd probably get to add yet another psychological modifying prescription to my roster! Nah, I think I'll just stick with calling it "baker's brain", or maybe "blogger's boredom"!

It's funny to think that the "healthy" modifications I made to this cookie dough recipe (and I am so sorry but I can't remember the initial source!) were all done without thought, but really turned the end product into something better than your standard cookie! The ground flaxseed and twelve grain flour created a nutty and semi-crisp base that wasn't sweet enough to overpower the chocolate but not salty enough to make you forget the potato chips either. I'm sure that if you made smaller dough balls and baked them for the same amount of time you would come up with equally tasty, crunchier results - but as big and soft as they were my dad had no complaints!

Really, what better way to kick off this year's edition of Eat Christmas Cookies - hosted as always by the wonderful FoodBlogga! We're in year 3, can you believe it? I'm proud to say that I've been able to be a part of every round up so far, so lets keep it going! If you want to see the offerings from previous editions, you can find year one here and year two here.

Monster Mash Cookies

Makes 12 giant or 24 "normal" cookies

1/2 cup dark brown sugar

1/2 cup  granulated sugar

2/3 cup canola oil

1 egg

1 tbsp vanilla

2 tbsp ground flaxseed

3 tbsp hot water

1 1/4 cups flour

1 cup 12-grain (or whole wheat) flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

64 grams (about 4 "fun-size" bags) plain potato chips, lightly crushed

48 grams (8 "fun-size" bars) plain milk chocolate, broken into chunks

140 grams (10 "fun-size" boxes) Smarties or M&M's chocolate

1. Preheat oven to 375F, line two large baking sheets with parchment or silicone.
2. In a large bowl, combine sugars, oil, egg and vanilla.
3. In a small dish or cup whisk together flaxseed and hot water, stir into sugar mixture.
4. In another bowl whisk together flours, baking soda and salt.
5. Add the flour mixture to the wet ingredients and stir gently to just combine.
6. Fold in the potato chips and chocolates.
7. Portion out large dollops or balls of dough onto the sheets.
8. Bake for 13 minutes (chewy jumbo cookies) or 15 minutes (more "toll-house crisp" style jumbos).
9. Cool completely on the sheets.

Amount Per Serving

Calories: 356.4
Total Fat: 17.6 g
Cholesterol: 19.8 mg
Sodium: 51.2 mg
Total Carbs: 47.1 g
Dietary Fiber: 2.7 g
Protein: 4.4 g

Bites of Heaven

I think maybe, just maybe, I can taste the first sweet hints of a stress-free future. Well, school stress-free, anyway. It's taken me three weeks of sequestering myself in my room, breaking pens and worst of all not baking, but exam schedules are out and to me that only means one thing - heaven. I don't know another student that actually looks forward to writing their finals, but considering next semester is my last one in the hell hole learning apex of my college - and half of it is on co-op placement - it's almost like being done! At least the new year will (hopefully) bring the ax down on the infernal group work projects in class. Working in a team at work I can do... when it comes to classes where everyone knows the workload is nothing but busy work, though, and three quarters of them don't pull any weight at all... well, it's been interesting!

I know I'm not in any position to complain about the workload this year. I mean, really - I asked for it when I was bored, and thinking about it, we students pay for the privilege of being strung out for eight months of the year! Go figure, right?

Oh well. Christmas is almost here again with all it's baking, buying and sharing - along with a certain event over at FoodBlogga that I must get my butt in gear for! For now, though, I leave you wth a different event entry: A loaf of bread slated for Yeast Spotting! It's incredibly tender thanks to the bananas, honey and milk I mixed in, but not really all that much of a sweet bread until you add the toffee bits! Even with that little touch of decadence a slice is still pretty good for you, with whole wheat, extra bran and oatmeal for fibre and a punch of soy flour for protein. It's a good thing it makes two loaves - my mom can't get enough of it and loves that it keeps her full and her sweet tooth in check.

Bite Of Heaven Bread
Makes about 32 slices, 2 loaves
2 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup de-fatted soy flour
1 tbsp gluten flour
1 cup rolled oats (not instant)
1/2 cup wheat bran
1/2 tsp salt
2 packets instant yeast
1 cup 1% milk, warmed
1/4 cup honey, warmed
1 tbsp vanilla
3 large bananas, mashed
1 tbsp butter, melted
2/3 cup Skor toffee bits

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, whisk together flours, oats, bran, salt and yeast.
2. Add the milk and honey, mixing well with the dough hook to moisten the dough.
3. Add the vanilla, bananas and butter and mix for 12 minutes, until a very soft dough forms (you won't be able to knead it, it's more of a very thick batter).
4. Add the toffee pieces and mix one minute further.
5. Scrape into an oiled bowl, cover and allow to rest 30 minutes.
6. Stir / punch dough down, then re-cover and allow to rest another 30 minutes.
7. Stir / punch dough down again, and divide between two greased loaf pans.
8. Cover and allow to rise 1 hour.
9. Preheat the oven to 350F with the rack in the bottom position.
10. Bake loaves for 30 minutes.
11. Turn immediately out of pans and cool completely on a rack before slicing.

Amount Per Serving
Calories: 90.5
Total Fat: 2.3 g
Cholesterol: 4.6 mg
Sodium: 51.5 mg
Total Carbs: 15.4 g
Dietary Fiber: 1.5 g
Protein: 2.9 g

(Im)possibilities

Sometimes, there seems to be nothing but impossible tasks in front of us. There's never enough time in the day, money in the wallet, gas in the car or water in the kettle when we need it, which seems like constantly! However, in the spirit of the Thanksgiving festivities and underlying meaning to the celebration recently held by my southern (i.e. American) neighbours, I'm trying my best to think only of the possibilities ahead. Like what a little (or a lot) of flour and sugar can do for morale - or the sheer amazing property that Nutella posesses to make absolutely everything it touches taste wonderful!

This recipe for dense, chewy, banana and Nutella filled bars was actually inspired by another banana bar recipe I'd made almost a year ago. Given that the basic recipe was so well recieved, I figured why not go all out and throw some Nutella in there instead of the butter, and add a touch of soy flour for nutrition too? The resulting bars were almost like fudge in consistency without being wet, and the combination of hazelnuts, chocolate and banana really worked well. If anything, I think I would have added more Nutella, and really made it a showstopper for the Nutella Challenge this month at Bell'Alimento. But oh well - it's yet another possibility!!

Thanks to everyone both "in reality" and on Twitter for listening to my rants and tears over the past few weeks. I love you all and your kindness really matters to me!

Banana Rocher Bars

Makes 16

1 cup flour

1/2 cup de-fatted soy flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup Nutella
1/3 cup brown sugar
4 bananas, mashed well
1/2 cup low-fat vanilla yogurt
1/4 cup 1% milk
1 tbsp vanilla

1. Preheat the oven to 350F, grease a 9x13" pan and line the bottom with parchment paper.
2. In a medium bowl, whisk together flours, baking powder and salt. Set aside.
3. In a large bowl beat together Nutella and brown sugar.
4. Add bananas and yogurt, beating well.
5. Add half the dry mixture to the bowl, followed by the milk and vanilla and the final half of the dry mixture, stirring to just combine in between additions.
6. Scrape into the pan, smoothing the top.
7. Bake 20 minutes, then cool in the pan 15 minutes before turning out onto a rack, removing the paper and cooling completely.

Amount Per Serving
Calories: 137.3
Total Fat: 3.1 g
Cholesterol: 0.5 mg
Sodium: 12.0 mg
Total Carbs: 25.2 g
Dietary Fiber: 1.9 g
Protein: 4.0 g

Californian Zin and a Peach Tart

I honestly don't know what gives White Zinfandel the bad rap it's been slapped with, because I can't think of anything particularly negative to comment on with this variety from Beringer Estates' California Collection. They were so gracious to send me two bottles of their Californian grown line, and I paired the first gift (a rich 2007 Cabernet Sauvignon) with some Roasted Squash Blossoms back in August. Though I didn't forget about this beautiful pink bottle in our wine rack at any rate, the shifting work and school patterns that came with the end of summer meant that baking and blogging had to once again take a back seat in the grand scheme of things. So, with my deepest apologies to Beringer, I will now share with you what I did do with one of their more "summery" wines!

Considering I know next to nothing about the nuances of wine, and even more so taking into account the fact that I can't actually drink anymore, I left the taste test and judgement up to my mom - the only member of the family who will still consider something wine even if it's not red! Suffice it to say she really enjoyed it - so much so that I didn't actually get a chance to use a glass or two of it myself for a peach sorbet recipe that was waiting in the wings! Luckily, I did score enough off the bat to crank out this decadent cream cheese and yogurt tart, using the otherwise forgotten peaches. Really though, the price of these bottles is more than reasonable for pretty much anyone, even a non-drinker like myself, at $7 US a pop on their website and just under $10 CAN at the LCBO. The drinkability of the White Zin made it something my mom declared she'd easily spend up to $15 on, especially during the summer - though she did suggest making spritzers with it over the Winter holidays with a gingerale or even a lemon seltzer.

Not only did I spike the rich vanilla filling with the wine, using what I could smell as almost a pear / melon / berry type of flavour to play off the juicy peaches, but I also added a decent dose of the White Zinfandel to the shortcrust dough I used as a base instead of the milk. To paraphrase Alton Brown, the alcohol in the wine doesn't bind with the gluten proteins in the flour, so the dough doesn't toughen as quickly in the rolling / pressing out process. Any sort of flavour given to the dough was kind of lost on the tasting panel of my family and friends due to the body of the filling, but I would love to see what it's like au naturel!

Zinfandel Vanilla Tart
Serves 10

Enough shortcrust pastry for a 10" pie

1 egg white

1/2 cup sugar
8 ounces light cream cheese, room temperature
2 tbsp vanilla (or plain) yogurt

2 tbsp White Zinfandel wine

1 tbsp vanilla
1 peach, skinned and diced

1. Preheat oven to 450°F.
2. Roll out pastry dough and line an 11" tart pan (preferably with a removable bottom!). Dock with a fork and brush all over with the egg white.
3. Bake 16 minutes. Cool completely.
4. Meanwhile, beat together sugar, cream cheese, yogurt, wine and vanilla until smooth.
5. Fold in peaches gently.
6. Pour cheese mixture into the baked pie shell and chill 5-6 hours before serving.

Amount Per Serving
Calories: 181.0
Total Fat: 8.8 g
Cholesterol: 13.2 mg
Sodium: 167.1 mg
Total Carbs: 21.8 g
Dietary Fiber: 0.4 g
Protein: 3.7 g

Garlic and Dill

It's no secret in our household that I am a sour dill pickle freak. I kid you not, we usually have at least a full litre jar of my favourite kosher dill Strub's in our fridge, and (provided I have someone stronger than me to open it!) I go in with a  fork at least once a day for my fix. I've been like this since I was an infant too - I teethed on baskets of pickles at the pub my parents used to frequent, and every time I visited a set of grandparents it wouldn't be the cookie jar I'd hit first but the fridge! If I was at my maternal grandparent's place, you could be sure that the cocktail onion jar would be missing half its contents by bedtime. On the other hand, if I visited my dad's mom near the end of the summer, she'd have a jar or two of her homemade cukes sitting around, bursting with a garden's worth of dillweed and a plethora of fresh garlic.

It's been a while since I've had the pleasure of crunching into a home-cured briny cucumber. Grandma stopped her pickling days shortly after her husband passed away and she relocated to a smaller townhouse without a garden. I had made pickles myself only once, in an elementary Home Economics class, but they were nothing like the garlic-infused delicacies I remembered. For one, my Home Ec recipe had sugar in it, which I despise in pickled cucumbers (bread & butter? No, thanks!), and for another, there was no pepper! So I tweaked. And tweaked. Then finally, following a fateful (and fun-filled!) excursion to the BrickWorks organic farmer's market this August, meeting up with none other than Joel (of Get the Foodie 411) and a couple other Tweeters, I had everything I could ask for to make my own cured crunchers.

And what brilliant pickles they were! To toot my own horn (and loudly, I may add), these pickles rival my favourite Strub's after a good two weeks in the fridge. While they aren't quite like the giant deli-style ones from my childhood teething days (!) they are mighty fine specimens - crammed with peppery zing and garlicky body, and not a hair of sugar to muck up the works! If you like sour dills - and I mean really like them, please please please try these... you will be glad you did. Even if you aren't so glad while waiting the minimum week for them to cure!

Garlicky Dill Fridge Pickles
Makes 3 litres

8 cups filtered water

1/4 cup coarse sea salt

3 tbsp cider vinegar

2 3/4 lbs small, "warty" cucumbers (like Kirby), scrubbed and halved lengthwise

1 bunch fresh dill, chopped

20 garlic cloves, crushed

15 whole black peppercorns, cracked

1 tsp yellow mustard seed

1. Scrub 3 (1 L) jars and their lids well in very hot, soapy water, dry upside down on a clean tea towel.
2. Combine the water, salt, vinegar, peppercorns and mustard seed in a saucepan.
3. Bring to a boil, then remove from heat and cool 5 minutes.
4. Pack layers of garlic, dill and cucumbers in each jar.
5. Pour the (very) warm brine over them, covering the cucumbers completely.
6. Screw the lids on tightly and place in the the refrigerator, undisturbed, for a minimum of 7 days (I recommend at least 14). The longer you leave them in the refrigerator the better they will be.

Amount Per Litre
Calories: 54.0
Total Fat: 0.5 g
Cholesterol: 0.0 mg
Sodium: 9,438.1 mg
Total Carbs: 11.5 g
Dietary Fiber: 3.3 g
Protein: 2.9 g