Monday, February 10, 2014

If I had $1,000,000 Ketchup (Fancy Ketchup)


If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would eat Kraft Dinner
Of course we would, we'd just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That's right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchups


Ah, the Barenaked Ladies. I've been a fan of theirs for what feels like forever (and it very well could have been forever since their band is as old as me!) and I only just now got the chance to see them live in concert! I've always loved their If I Had A Million Dollars song, mostly because it's so amusing and yet I could realistically see myself purchasing or doing some of the things they mention.

If I had $1,000,000 Ketchup (Fancy Ketchup)In our house, ketchup itself is a major commodity - if we run out while my sister's home from school... oooh boy! She puts it on pretty much everything, so I'm sure that she's helping to keep the tomato processors in business (them and the pasta manufacturers), even though she only likes one particular kind (and not Heinz!). Between the BBQ's and everyday dinners over the Summer break, ketchup (or rather, three types of ketchup: my sister's "brand", sugar-free for my stepdad and spicy for my stepbrother) is almost a weekly purchase.

If I had $1,000,000 Ketchup (Fancy Ketchup)That said, one thing that nobody in my family does is put ketchup on Mac & Cheese (and apparently that's a Canadian thing!). But, no matter what we do as a family, every time I think of the phrase "Kraft Dinner" I can only ever think of the song, and it's fancy Dijon ketchups. That's what inspired me to make this homemade tomato condiment - I had already done a spicy version, so I figured I'd try taking things up a bit on the luxe scale. I found a recipe on Girlichef and immediately had to give it a try - with the merest of adaptations based on what I had and what we like. Cooked down, pureed and cooled, it was thick, rich and tres chic, without forgetting that it was ketchup. I may still refuse to dollop it on my KD, but fries, roasted cauliflower, crispy green beans and baked tofu are all fair game!

If I had $1,000,000 Ketchup (Fancy Ketchup)
Makes 3 1/2 cups, 28 (2-tbsp) servings
6 oz dry-packed sundried tomatoes, chopped (I used homemade)
2 dried mulato chiles, chopped
Hot water to cover
2 cloves garlic
½ cup balsamic vinegar
¼ cup red wine vinegar
½ cup dry red wine
1 ¼ cups low-sodium, gluten free vegetable broth
¼ cup packed Muscovado sugar (or dark brown sugar)
1 tbsp tamari or dark soy sauce
¼ tsp smoked sea salt
¼ tsp ground black pepper
  1. Combine the tomatoes and chiles in a bowl and cover with hot water. Cover and let stand 1 hour.
  2. Add the soaked mixture (with liquid), garlic, vinegars, wine, broth, sugar, tamari, salt and pepper to a medium saucepan.
  3. Bring to a simmer and cook for 1 ½ hours on low heat, stirring occasionally.
  4. Transfer to a blender or food processor with the water and puree smooth.
  5. At this point, depending on the consistency, you can add more water or return it to the pot and simmer to condense slightly.
  6. Can in a hot-water bath for 20 minutes, freeze up to 6 months or transfer to a jar and store in the fridge up to 2 months.
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 30.2
Total Fat: 0.0 g
Cholesterol: 0.0 mg
Sodium: 52.0 mg
Total Carbs: 6.2 g
Dietary Fiber: 0.9 g
Protein: 0.9 g

If I had $1,000,000 Ketchup (Fancy Ketchup)